i may be annoyed by the way you act sometimes

or by some of the things you do

but no one could ever make me love you any less

or them any more

not even the one who spends money on me

or the one who gives me constant attention

or the one who writes me poetry

or the one who whispers sweet nothings in my ear

because at the end of the day

im still thinking of you

and all the ways and reasons

i love you

and how in the big picture

you make me happier

than any of those people combined

you dont have to buy my love

or fake your way to my love

becuase i love you

just the way you are

i love the good side of you

the annoying side of you 

and the bad side of you

and despite all our stupid arguements

i wouldnt give you up

if my life depended on it.

Thinking.

why is he taking forever to text you back?

hes prolly drinking, actually hes prolly halfway to drunk.

i mean i shouldnt have said not to drink to much.

of course hes going to, hes at a party with his friends who party.

i cant get mad cuz then he will keep doing it, i mean thats how it works right.

ugh too late im already mad. 

he can get shitty with me for smoking weed one time and i was with him..

and he goes and drinks without me all the time.

we had an agreement that hed only drink with me..

guess i was stupid to think it would actually go like that..

i dont like his friends becuase of that…

and i mean if hes with me..and im drinking too like its ok.

as fucked up as that sounds.

but at least then i know what hes doing.

hes not flirting with other girls..or doing something really stupid.

like he used to always do when he drank.

like i just dont know.

and it sucks cuz i have NO ONE to distract my mind.

talk me through it.

becuase my dumbass moved.

and now i have no friends. no one.

im alone, on a friday night after work

while the one person i have

my boyfriend

is off at a football party

prolly getting wasted even though he knows ill be so pissed

and with all his friends.

ignoring me.

life is just so grand.

like part of me wants to express all of this to him

but then the other part doesnt.

like what if what im thinking is actually true?

yea i dont want to face that.

i ran from all my problems in indiana 

to create even more bigger ones here.

can i just get something to turn my mind off

even for a few hours…please?