i may be annoyed by the way you act sometimes

or by some of the things you do

but no one could ever make me love you any less

or them any more

not even the one who spends money on me

or the one who gives me constant attention

or the one who writes me poetry

or the one who whispers sweet nothings in my ear

because at the end of the day

im still thinking of you

and all the ways and reasons

i love you

and how in the big picture

you make me happier

than any of those people combined

you dont have to buy my love

or fake your way to my love

becuase i love you

just the way you are

i love the good side of you

the annoying side of you 

and the bad side of you

and despite all our stupid arguements

i wouldnt give you up

if my life depended on it.

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What are you trying to do?

you dont respond to my messages

but yet your not too busy to find yourself on twitter..

i would call you

but i already know you wont answer,

you say you love me, that you cant love another

but everything is contridicting.

i dont think you understand just how bad you hurt me

the last week i was there.

all i wanted to do was spend the last week with the guy i love,

but you acted like you wanted nothing to do with me.

i was breaking, 

i couldnt keep it together,

and you disappeared.

i needed you,

but you ran.

and now youre doing it all over again.

so what do you want?

to push me away,

to break me into tiny pieces

that can never get put back together?

becuase thats whats happening,

and im left here trying so hard,

to get you to stay.

but i cant get you to stay 

if you want to leave.

just stop playing these games.

im already broken,

in pieces,

you win.

so go if thats what you want.

if youre happy then ill learn to deal.

they all leave.

my life.

Im really upset with the fact that i finally kinda sorta figured out what i wanted to go to college for and now all i wanted is washed away. gone in a blink. i should have just kept my mouth shut. i had this amazing idea to go to college next semester, get my buisness degree, and start my own hookah lounge. like my ideas were so perfect and i talked to my boyfriend about it and he seemed pretty excited about it. and we even mentioned some people who we could really benefit working for us. but now the entire idea is gone. like now i have no chance in succedding. my boyfriend decided to have a “buisness meeting” i had no clue about, i had to ask what he was doing cuz he wasnt talking to me. Hes meeting up with his super rich friend who owns these really successful buisness. he’s talking to him about opening a hookah lounge. like im so pissed. the one thing i thought i could actually possibly succeed with and now i have no chance becuase of my own boyfriend. like ya i get the fact that i know you are being successsful with your life and doing things you want and you have people to pay for your college. but i dont. and im not good at much. actually im pretty useless. and now i feel even more useless. i moved and left everything in indiana. and now im here, no friends, no college, no car, no dreams of being successful because im pretty sure its impossible for me. and i know no one will read this but its just nice to get it out of my system seeing how i have no one to talk to. i just feel like a nobody, completly useless like if i dissapreaed it really wouldnt matter.

and i suck at spelling and dont feel like fixing my errors lol